“Mr Martins Gets His Revenge” – The April Fools’ Joke Is On Me”

Hi Everyone

Tomorrow is April 1st and traditionally it’s time to play
a joke on someone.

In my day, many, many moons ago, you could only do this
until midday. Don’t ask me why, you just could.

I grew up in the Western Suburbs of Sydney and I would
come up with some of the funniest (to me at least) jokes I
could play on my teachers.

I remember Mr Martins my science teacher.

Mr Martins had great plea-sure in introducing the class
to the fine art of dissecting rats.

This skill could be learnt in a one 40 minute period

but – NO…

Mr Martins thought the fine art of rat dissecting should be
learnt over many lessons and many alc*ohol-drenched
preserved rats.

To a class of 14 year old boys, once you have seen one
dead rat you have seen them all.

So, naturally I got bored pretty quickly and I came up with various new methods to, well, let’s say, ‘explore’ them.

Now to this day, I do not remember what the purpose of
rat dissecting is, but I do remember vividly how brightly and
explosively they flare up when the alcohol soaked rat meets the
science classroom bunson-burner.

I also discovered that if you light a strip of magnesium metal
and place it inside the soaked rat with a few selected
chemicals the magnesium continues to burn from the inside
out and eventually ‘poof’ – the rat explodes leaving a frightful
hideous concoction of mattered mess. (this is in the category

So, now it’s time for me to introduce Mr Martins to my new

I grabbed his attention when I explained to him my rat was
obviously rotten as when I put my scalpel to it I could not
penetrate the outer fur and skin.

Unbeknown to Mr Martins at the time, the magnesium strip,
fuelled by the chemicals dropped down the rat’s
gullet, was burning brightly inside the poor dead rodent.


as he was prodding, touching and ready to show this
obviously inept 14 year old how to meticulously
dissect a long-tailed-sewer dweller using the hands
of a science teacher-surgeon

the rat …well…um…


you’ve got it…

all over over him and his well groomed, 15 times an hour,
hand-combed beard.

He looked at me with rodent fragments dripping from his brow.

I looked at him clean and stoic from a position three steps back
(you don’t think I was going to be alongside him do you?)

and I did…

what any honourable 14 year old boy would do in the circumstance,

I said,

“Mr Martins, what have you done to my rat ?!”

“I thought you knew what you were doing ?!”

To this day, “God rest his soul”, Mr Martins was not made aware of
the untimely April’s Fools’ Joke I had orchestrated.

Actually it wasn’t untimely.

It was only the second period and a clear
two hours within the midday cut-off for April Fools’ jokes to occur.



Tomorrow, I am going to send out an email which
will make me a fool and you a winner…


it’s time for me to take the punishment for playing
that April’s fool joke on Mr Martins many, many years ago.

So come back to this page tomorrow – there will be a special
Aprils Fools’ Day Offer.

It’s Mr Martins’ time to get his revenge.

Cheers and Great Selling

Kurt Johansen
“Australia’s Email Marketing Guru”
Direct: 0412 94 77 33
Grab my book “7 Killer Tips To Get Your Emails Read” over
to the right.

PS: The offer will be available ONLY on April’s Fool Day

PPS: Because that’s the rules of Aprils Fools’ Day.

PPPS: And to think I have been carrying this secret with me
for all these years. Good on ya Mr Martins, you deserve your revenge.

About Kurt

I'm passionate about helping people in small to medium businesses get BIG results from email marketing. Email Marketing is about 1. Your List 2. Your Relationship With Your List and 3. Your Offer. When you get the three in unison, watch your profits soar. If you're not sure what I mean. Contact me. I can and will help. Believe In Yourself - Kurt

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