“Two Similar Messages. Two Different Results.”

Getting your customers to respond to an email or an SMS is never an exact science yet there are things you can do to help people take action.

There are principles to adhere to and a wealth of copywriting experience, history and expertise to tap into.

And it is a learned skill, which means everyone who chooses to learn can do it.

But it is always better to engage someone who does this daily.

Below are two messages which were sent to two different lists via SMS.

Both were sent by Personal Trainers.

One trainer had grown up watching and learning the art of emotional direct response marketing.

The other trainer wrote what he thought would work.

One message was an outstanding success.

The other message fizzled.

Email marketers, sms marketers and copywriters would know instantly which message would have more chance of success.

How about you – can you pick the winner ?

Message One

Hi All

I trust we all partied hard
to celebrate the new year!!

Lets kick off 2014 with a

25% discount for pt
sessions in January.

Only taking on the first 5
who respond.  Don’t miss

Lets kickstart ur goals in
2014 !!


Message Two

Hi all

I hope we had a good
holiday season.
Lets sort out ur goals
quickly, get set up on a
program and into ur
fitness again.

25% discount for pt
sessions in January.

Let’s kickstart ur goals in


How did you go ? 

Do you think you know which message won?

The answer is…

Drumroll Please…


Let’s decipher the reasons why message #1 won.

  1. It contained scarcity and urgency (only 5 spots available, don’t miss out);
  2. It had white space (short paragraphs means it is easier to read);
  3. It has a call to action (…who respond…)

When writing your emails or sms messages make sure you use
many emotional direct response marketing triggers.

Better still hire someone who knows how to get the results you deserve.

If you are looking for better results from your
email marketing or sms marketing then:

Contact me kurt@emailprofits.com.au

Contact me – and get 2014 off to the start you deserve.

Believe In Yourself

About Kurt

I'm passionate about helping people in small to medium businesses get BIG results from email marketing. Email Marketing is about 1. Your List 2. Your Relationship With Your List and 3. Your Offer. When you get the three in unison, watch your profits soar. If you're not sure what I mean. Contact me. I can and will help. Believe In Yourself - Kurt


  1. Keep your actions going Troy. Don’t give up after one message.

  2. Great Tammy. There are plenty of other tips coming too.

  3. That was great! Thanks Kurt 🙂 I must be learning, cause i guessed #1 and knew each reason why it was better. YAY!

  4. Troy Patching
    12:30pm Jan 28
    Kurt.. thanks mate for sharing as i say sharing is caring…i went to ur link stole yr sms idea and used it within facebook within 5 mins made a $100 sale life time value could be $500-$1000 plus for a business i dont even own yet…
    Gosford – NSW

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